1. |
|
|||
2. |
|
|||
I cannot sleep for the orange council night light
And when you’re alone and I’m off under some dim light
It’s all too easy to examine all my failings
I know you won’t but it’s something I do daily
I want to live in a house the light still reaches in winter
I know it sounds trite, but it’s easier when we face it together
So come on home
Come on home
Come on home
Come on home
To me
I used to think you talked too much but I wasn’t really listening
And when I felt like a ghost you’re the one who sees I’m missing
It’s all too easy to examine all my failings
I know you won’t but it’s something I do daily
I want to live in a house the light still reaches in winter
And now it’s Christmas, it’s easier if we face it together
So come on home
Come on home
Come on home
Come on home
To me
|
||||
3. |
|
|||
It’s Christmas eve, I can’t believe that we are in this mess
a diverse cross section of terrorists are terrorizing guests
at a Christmas party full of Holly and six months of regrets
me in NY, you in LA, I’m sorry but I can’t say it yet
will I ever get to?
I’m still not great at taking flights, I get a little stressed
I’m just that kind of archetype, I can’t trust anyone else
however big or small the thing, I think I know what’s best
heavy handed, strong and silent savior in a plain white vest
but not quite right yet, so I make...
fists (fists) fists with my toes, I make
fists (fists) fists with my toes, I make
fists (fists) fists with my mistletoes and kick it into Christmas mode, I make
fists (fists) fists with my toes, I make
fists (fists) fists with my toes, I make
fists (fists) fists with my mistletoes and punch it into Christmas mode
Hans, put your hands up. I was invited, you are the intruder
Hans, put your weapons down. I am the good guy, you are the Gruber
Karl, I’m sorry you lost your brother but it was him or me
I’m taking names and kicking ass here at Nakatomi, where I make...
fists (fists) fists with my toes, I make
fists (fists) fists with my toes, I make
fists (fists) fists with my mistletoes and kick it into Christmas mode, I make
fists (fists) fists with my toes, I make
fists (fists) fists with my toes, I make
fists (fists) fists with my mistletoes and kick it into Christmas mode
Now the father of five is no longer alive
wouldn’t give up the safe to keep himself safe
what a brave guy
do they have thirty five floor high
skyscrapers in the sky
or do they just scrape by?
|
||||
4. |
|
|||
New year isn’t far away
Haven’t felt myself for days
Though time will bury me
I won’t let you down
Another year has passed us by
Lord knows we really tried
Love burns like firewood
Don’t put our flame out for good
New year isn’t far away
So let’s find God and pray
Or let’s find a drink or two
Go wild, like we used to
Or make lists of things to do
That there is just no getting through
Oh I can’t wait to be
The same old you and me
A clean slate might restart
These weary little hearts
I don’t fail like this with anybody else
We just need some time
Before the rest of our lives
I’ve always thought that we were lovelier in the spring
A new year in 5..4..3..2
But last year has it in for me and you
So where can we go next
My friend?
New year isn’t far away
Haven’t felt myself for days
Though time has buried me
I won’t let you down
|
||||
5. |
DTHPDL - Heavy Frosting
02:33
|
|
||
You can try and console it
Give and celebrate to
You can see inside
The frost outside
Sing and feel the warmth again
Come away and melt with me
You can see inside
the frost outside
We can bring inside
All outside
|
||||
6. |
Tanat - Santa Someday
03:19
|
|
||
I looked all around the tree
There was nothing, nothing for me
Someday I’ll get what I need
Someday you’ll give it to me
I don’t care
About material things
Santa baby, I don’t need a ring
Love love
Is all I need
Next year
Please oh please
I want the things that come for free
I want to be kissed right next to the Christmas tree
I want to be wrapped up together in front of the TV
I want to given all the caramel Quality Street
By someone who loves me
Santa, why does this take so long?
It can’t be that hard, when we’ve got overpopulation
Why won’t it happen to me?
Please, please, leave it under my tree
ooh ooh ooh ooh
by someone who loves me
Santa, why does this take so long?
Well it can’t be that hard, when we’ve got overpopulation
Why won’t it happen to me?
Please, please, leave it under my tree
Love, love, is all I need
Next year, please oh please
|
||||
7. |
|
|||
There’s blood in my mouth this evening
There’s piss in the snow tonight
The alcohol is slowing my breathing
The cigarettes keep my chest tight
A heritage of arguments
A history of making mistakes
The fact is I still remember
Hitting you under the stairs
There’s a lot I keep hidden there
This winter I want to
Resurrect and rehaunt you
I have a secret
weapon I’m flaunting
Highlight what I lack
Every time you attack
Christmas is easier
when you are leaving me
We’ll drive down to the sea
And I’ll fantasise of you touching me
This year I have behaved myself
Now I give in to reverie
You under my great spell
You following me
You studying my great book
But now winter is killing me
So I give in to reverie
I’ll hide you under my steps
With all my other regrets
This Christmas I want to
Ressurrect and rehaunt you
This is the season
The reason I’m singing
I’ll come round and cut you out
Just give me a shout
Winter is killing us
We’re digging our own graves
Winter is killing me
I’m digging my own grave
Or is it this town
Is it this country
Or is it this guy
Selling me a way out of my head
Is it my brain or the way I was bred
I wish I was dead this Christmas
|
||||
8. |
|
|||
There’s a low moon hanging over frozen roofs
Snowflakes resting in your hair
Multi-coloured lights on the trees surrounding us
And we can’t wait for Christmas Day
On the Big Wheel we freeze our asses off
Can’t feel our hands and feet at all
I pull you tight against the Winter’s night
We’re gonna need more alcohol
Take me home tonight
Take me home tonight
I am for life
Not just for Christmas
Christmas Eve
You’re walking home with me
W-W-S-D
W-W-S-D
Under the sheets we lose our winter chills
Press my neck into your lips
Read me the poems from your Christmas cards
And sink your teeth into my hips
(I am)
Home with you tonight (I am)
Home with you tonight (I am)
Home with you tonight
I am for life
Not just for Christmas
Christmas Eve
You’re walking home with me
W-W-S-D
W-W-S-D
Christmas Eve
W-W-S-D
I’m walking home with you
What would Santa do?
|
||||
9. |
Faith Elliott - Dolores
03:05
|
|
||
You strong lunged new thing
all tangle haired thrashing
Built a house for my suffering
I have lived there a long time
But now the thick walls are crumbling
And the smoke is rising
Dolores my darling,
It is not love deciding
If I leave in the morning,
Through the soot I’ve been digging
for what’s left of your breath
I know it’s freezing in here
and the walls are still bare
But I can hear Dolores laughing on those white marble stairs
She wears winter clothes and says
“You must live in the world now, dear.
Those gates to heaven are fool’s gold. We know.”
And though our kings carry mirrors and holy pretence,
our machines have no fear of consequence
But I would settle for a single bed
I would settle for an accident
My mother’s baby teeth on this string around my neck
can be buried with the rest of it
and we’ll plant flowers where there once was only dirt.
|
||||
10. |
|
|||
Over slate rooftops and sheer north cliff face drops
Seven deadly seas, won’t keep him away
If it was me then I would be scared
Up there all alone and fifty thousand feet in the air
And with so far to go does he feel all alone
Dodging planes mid-war or seeing the North Pole ice caps thaw
Even Santa Claws needs somebody to call
Especially on the loneliest night of all
On the loneliest night…
(So why should we even care?)
‘Cause he’s just like you and me
(What’s mine and what’s yours I share)
Sometimes we all get lonely
(But why should we waste our prayers?)
Let me tell you now, everyone somewhere needs someone needs someone to love
Snow on the mountains
Under his slay
Oceans and canyons
He’s making his way
So why should we even care?
(Because he’s just like you and me)
He only works for one night a year
(Sometimes we’re lonely)
His zero hours contract is not fair
Yeah, and everyone somewhere needs someone to love
To reach our shores
He needs to pass our backwards laws
Stays up all night
To make us feel
So why should we even care?
(Because it’s wonderful at Christmas time)
It’s only once a year
(Don’t be alone this Christmas time)
Everyone somewhere needs someone to love
|
||||
11. |
|
|||
Brutalist doesn’t mean what you think it does
Hosanna wasn’t over when you wished it was
Kiss me on the mouth, it’s Christmas Eve
I have stars in my eyes, I have winter seeds
Because I have ideas and you have ideas
And we’re wasting our youth on these wretched careers
But it’s not too late
To start over here
Jim told me all about Los Angeles
I don’t remember much, but I remember this:
The waves look like lace when they reach the shore
And he saw M. Emmet Walsh in the grocery store
You know I have my flaws and you have your flaws
And we’re bending our beauty while breaking blue laws
But we still look great
After it all
Brutalist doesn’t mean what you think it does
Hosanna wasn’t over when you wished it was
Kiss me on the mouth, it’s Christmas Eve
I have stars in my eyes, I have winter seeds
Because I have ideas and you have ideas
And we’re wasting our youth on these wretched careers
But it’s not too late
To start over here
|
||||
12. |
|
|||
Cheap gold drips from dressed up trees
Cheap gold lines the salted streets
Cheap gold, and a gift receipt
in case it’s not what she wants
Cheap gold; the ring on the familiar hand she holds
The cross on a necklace that he bought
wrapped in cheap gold paper
hoping it would be enough to keep her
Cheap gold and the tarnished silver snow
from a doorway two souls fall
into the Lothian winter
falling down like heavy drinkers
Take the steamed up taxi home
Suck a hip flask to stay warm
Ignore the hardened winter
Swap a kiss for a stiff ring-finger
the thought that counted has gone missing
You feel so cheap but remember this
It’s not for life it’s just for Christmas
|
||||
13. |
Wolf - Alma
04:44
|
|
||
We’ll ring the bells to gather round
We try to make the clocks stop still
We held each other close against our wills
Even in the darkest yawn
Remember in love you were born
We’ll ring the bells to mark the passing
Take first steps in fresh laid snow
Hearts will mend, hands will join
broken bones, stitched and sown
Even in the darkest yawn
Remember in love you were born
The day returns to wrestle anger
Know him well but let him go
heads fall bent in whisper
lost in lies, lost homes
So even in the darkest yawn
Remember in the love you were born
The last leaf falls
The bells are ringing
You are brave
You are strong
The last leaf fell
As you were born
|
||||
14. |
|
|||
Well I won’t bleed when you kick me
I won’t fail to let you down
All these years that I wasted
Self indulgence enough to drown
Oh enough to drown
Oh enough to drown
And I remember when I was
Remember when I was your age
I could have been a contender
Now remind me what is your name
Oh what is your name
Oh what is your name
So come on carry me home
Come on and carry me home
Come on and carry me home
Come on and carry me home
Come on and carry me home
And I am the life of the party
Give me a drink, I’ll give you hell
I am the life of the party
Is there a secret I’m yet to tell
Oh I’m yet to tell
Oh I’m yet to tell
So come on carry me home
Come on and carry me home
Come on and carry me home
Come on and carry me home
Come on and carry me home
And we said:
“My beer drunk soul is sadder than all the dead Christmas trees, Christmas trees in the world”
|
||||
15. |
|
|||
They say “Listen for Sleighbells”
But I don’t know how they sound
Our eyes fixed on the ground
Another white lie to be found out
Only God loves the brass band
Plastic mistletoe and whine
As the people stand in lines
Waiting for the sale signs
Don’t even go there
I know this is nowhere
No words of a liar
Turn the coal effect fire
Up as high as it will go
This year there was real snow
On the ground
So its goodwill to all men
But we still don’t know what that means
We sit plugged into our machines
We were building the great pyramid schemes
Don’t even go there
I know this is nowhere
No words of a liar
Turn the coal effect fire
Up as high as it will go
This year there was real snow
On the ground
Don’t even go there
I know this is nowhere
No words of a liar
Turn the coal effect fire
Up as high as it will go
Where did our love go?
It’s here
|
||||
16. |
|
|||
There’s no logs on the fire
No snow in the trees
No presents in wrapping
No chestnuts and glee
And the forecast they say is fine
But it’s not Christmas time
I’ve watched all the movies
With the blinds pulled down tight
I’ve got candles a glowing
And the tree lit at night
But the forecast they say is fine
It’s not Christmas time.
There’s barbeques a burning
And no queens speech today
There’ll be eskies of ice
Instead of iced up driveways
And the forecast they say is fine
It’s not Christmas time
I got burnt Christmas shopping
By the sun now I’m red
Instead of watching Eastenders
We’ll be at the beach here instead
And the forecast they say is fine
It’s not Christmas time
So let it snow in my heart
Even though we’re apart
I close my eyes and I’m home
I know it’s cold but I’m warm
I know it’s cold but I’m warm now
|
||||
17. |
|
|||
A Christmas Morning hangover,
I hope I make it through the day .
The relatives are here and they’re here to stay.
A Christmas Morning hangover,
You better get out my way.
Don’t cast judgement on the gifts we gave.
Christmas Eve it starts at mine.
Catch up with my folks, they’re doing fine.
So let’s go, down to the shore.
We’ll sit and drink and eat Scampi Fries.
Wander home with bleary eyes.
I’m done, soon the mornings going to come.
It may be different next year
But I might never change I fear
A Christmas Morning hangover,
I hope I make it through the day .
The relatives are here and they’re here to stay.
A Christmas Morning hangover,
You better get out my way.
Don’t cast judgement on the gifts we gave.
Chin up, the mornings here.
And those fairy lights may bring you fear.
Bring it on, the hair of the dog.
The moment that it hits my lips,
we listen to Cliff’s greatest hits.
I’m sane and back in the game.
It may be different next year
But I might never change I fear
A Christmas Morning hangover,
I hope I make it through the day .
The relatives are here and they’re here to stay.
A Christmas Morning hangover,
You better get out my way.
Don’t cast judgement on the gifts we gave.
We’ll have fun, fun, fun when this hangover is done!
|
||||
18. |
|
|||
When I feel kinda like a giant useless slump
Ready to be taken to the rubbish dump
You call me up on your red telephone
Make me happy again and then you have to go
But I’ve been trying to think positively
About taking up new activities
I’ll do yoga and learn Chinese
Play accordion and eat my peas
But will you spend New Year’s Eve with me?
We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night
Everybody else will be out drinking
But I don’t feel like drinking
Do you wanna stay in and hang out with me
We could play some Monopoly
It’s embarrassing to think that at 25
I’m not doing something more wild with my life
There’s a party over here, a party there
But my favourite party is in my bed
So will you please spend New Year’s with me?
We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night
We can play Nintendo if you’d let me win
But you’re super competitive with these things
That’s okay, i don’t mind, let’s make popcorn
Do you feel like watching Harold and Maude
You’re the greatest the friend that i’ve ever had
I want you to know that i’m grateful for that
I won’t let our acquaintance ever be forgot
Happy New Year, I love you, you’re the best of the lot
So will you please spend New Year’s with me?
We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night
|
||||
19. |
|
|||
1976
Johnny Mathis had his Greatest Hit
In retrospect - it was all downhill from this
Here in the darkest Winter time
On shortest day, in the longest night
May our exhalations hide us from the spy satellites
And snow and snow and snow
Come cover over everything
Give us wonder, give us hope
Take this dirty world and make it clean
Secret Santa get to f**k and take your tacky s**t
Just keep us full of drink
So merry Xmas baby. you’re the s**t
Oh Oh Oh Oh!
And snow and snow and snow
Come cover over everything
Give us wonder, give us hope
Take this dirty year and make it clean
Secret Santa get to f**k and take your tacky s**t
Just keep us full of drink
So Happy Xmas Rusty
And Merry Xmas Neil and Davey
Merry Xmas Sam
And everyone here raise a glass, you’re all the s**t
|
||||
20. |
|
|||
There’s a pub across from the police station
Where we say our peace and make our statements
With wooden floors and fluid barmaids
We raise our glasses to the dearly departed
It’s standing room only at Christmas
You see the faces of old flames and near misses
And the jukebox in the middle of the room like an informer
Used to play Tricky ‘Hell is Round the Corner’
As shadows slink from across the road
I can hardly think and I’ve lost ma phone
I’ll have one more drink then I’m walking home
At Christmas Eve ghosts visit me
Through tread-worn streets they trip and weave
And in my sleep they live and breathe
Fixing the cracks and returning the missing piece
A building built of lights and bricks
The street décor hasn’t changed since 1996
The town centre echoes of lost love
Among closed down traders and boarded up shop-fronts
Calling your name to the refrain:
‘It might not be much but it’s ours all the same’
The lights go first, a scream with no words
Short circuited in diversion signs for road works
As the shadows slink from across the road
I can hardly think and I’ve lost ma phone
I’ll have one more drink then I’m walking home
At Christmas Eve ghosts visit me
Through tread-worn streets they trip and weave
And in my sleep they live and breathe
Fixing the cracks and returning the missing piece
One year I got a kicking here, head split
The red blood on the white snow looked very festive
Every Christmas Eve I’m visited by ghosts
But they can’t tell me anything I don’t already know
Time… of reflection and looking glass reflections
Evolving progression or healthy regression
Unlike Scrooge’s ghosts that made him a new man
The ghosts that visit here remind me who I am
If it keeps snowing like this there’ll be a lock in
|
||||
21. |
|
|||
I want to know you like I know the night,
Wont be there when I wake up in the morning
I need to know, that this wont change a thing
that you could still care much less about me
I don’t know how - I ended up with this heart,
I don’t know how - I ended up with this heart
I must be the most hopeless romantic of all
Cause I will never fall, and I know this!
Yes I’ve tried boys and I’ve tried girls, but no-one could melt this heart of mine
And though they’ll say I’m still young, I can feel this echoing for a lifetime!
Now come on you’re a doctor, tell me what is wrong with this heart?
You have studied the world, now tell me what is wrong this heart?
Come and tell me straight now, is there a heart worth saving here..
Cause if there is! We’d better act quick!
Quick, quick, quick...
Before I forget just how this felt
Wanting you, wanting you,
Wanting you, wanting you back!
|
||||
22. |
Wozniak - Harker
05:14
|
|
||
In the Christmas snow the wolves are running;
The silver birch turns blue
A hunting horn, a storm is coming;
Our bones are all chilled through
|
||||
23. |
Woodenbox - First Things
03:19
|
|
||
First things cost you nothing
Cause you wanted nothing in return
The second you want something
Then they are gonna make you wait your turn
There it was, a voice, a shadow you cant see
There it was, a choice and is it everything you’ll need
You won’t know how much you’ll change
Till everything will change aswell
But in time we will show so well
I was asking certain questions,
with a knowledge I had never learned before
When I realised certain answers
were just questions that I never knew before
There you were, a voice, a shadow I could see,
There you were, a choice and everything I’d need
I didn’t know how much we d change, till everything had changed aswell
First things foremost and first things first
If first things go from worst to worst.
YOU’RE A VOICE
There you were a voice, a shadow i can see
(my love I’ll share for you)
I did not know how much we’d change till everything had changed aswell
I know we’ll grow so well
|
||||
24. |
|
|||
Meeting her off the train
Her beauty hits you again
One short drive and you’re home
And over dinner there’s laughter
She gets on with your folks so well
There’s no better place to be
And it’s the best you’ll ever feel
Christmas in love
Out on the town it’s Christmas Eve
And you’re so proud she’s on your on your arm
There’s drinking and there’s dancing
And later on she’s in your bed at last
There’s no better place to be
And it’s the best you’ll ever feel
Christmas in love
What are you hiding?
Why can’t you show me you’re love?
Too many many sad days
Turning wrong ways
There’s no better place to be
And it’s the best you’ll ever feel
Christmas in love
Well I’d been out drinking
Fell down or took a beating
And I know it’s over
I belong to yesterday
There’s no better place to be
And it’s the best you’ll ever feel
Christmas in love
|
||||
25. |
|
|||
We, us pair, in beautiful wigs, shimmy
through the busy streets, our moon faces full
as Christmas bellies; our coy, curling
grins puff out greeting friends and
strangers: hullllllooh and-very-berry-
merry-nice-and-soon-YES-yes; we get home,
exhausted, unclip our smiles, they fall
to the floor with the heavy thud
of metal chains and evening wraps us, rapt
in its heft we’re a new fur coat; we let our wigs
slip from our scalps, peel open in undress,
like the first peek of banana between skin
– looks right rough you’d think, what’s
underneath, until you touch it, treat
it to a cheek rub; such secrets we keep.
Nearly naked, all our little aerials ready
to receive: the body, its treacle, its gloss.
Mission control: they need not be bright
as beach life, just need a good scour
of sand, sea, salt and sun. Fix your
bones to mine, become a coital bow,
it is Christmas Eve and us in wigs and high
heels, clogs, frocks and frowns are now
in none; us in public are now in private,
so come, let us strip together, forever,
eat snow, warn each other to enjoy it for
this hot fleshy love, in the bigger
picture, holds us only for seconds,
like a snowflake on the tongue.
|
||||
26. |
|
|||
Lets have a disco with all of these people in our front room
Now Winter’s begun I don’t think that I’ll go outside
It seems so much harder now
It seems so much colder now
I’d leave you down
You’ve got the light of the sun in your eyes
You’ve got the light of the sun in your eyes
My body is frozen
My body is shaking
I get the feeling that everyone’s taken round here
But you’ve got the fire
I’ve got the mixer
and everyone’s dancing around
It seems so much harder now
It seems so much colder now
I’d leave you down
You’ve got the light of the sun in your eyes
You’ve got the light of the sun in your eyes
You’ve got the light of the sun in your eyes
You put the light off, and everyone lies down
|
||||
27. |
|
|||
The road the holy journey
[Jose y maria]
And over frozen grassland
[Cardos y ortigas]
The road the holy journey
Together we will go
Until we find some shelter
To keep us from the cold
Oh flower of the field
[Clavel del aire]
If we can find shelter
[¿adonde naces?]
Where are you little flower
And what wil you bring
The spiders they are worried
The crickets cannot sleep
A la huella, a la huella
Jose y maria
Con un dios escondido
Nadie sabia ...
The road the holy journey
[Los peregrinos]
Some shelter will you help us?
[Para mi niño]
The road the holy journey
We’ve suns and we’ve moons
We’re waiting little flower
We’re waiting for you
We come upon a cornfield
[¡ay buey barcino!]
Our child he is coming!
[Haganle sitio!]
A stable to protect us and hay to keep us warm
We thank you for the kindness the moon it is full
A la huella, a la huella
Jose y maria
Con un dios escondido
Nadie sabia …
A la huella, a la huella
Jose y maria
|
||||
28. |
|
|||
29. |
|
|||
I’ve got a feeling
Everything will be alright
As I lay my head down on the pillow
To go to sleep tonight
Cause the house is still but there’s
such a thrill
And my heart is full of joy
Knowing that tomorrow is Christmas
Day
And I’ll be with my boy
Cinnamon candles burn
And they fill the air
I’ve got a brand new party dress on
And red ribbons in my hair
I hear jingle bells
When I look at you
And my heart is full of joy
Knowing that tomorrow is Christmas
Day
And I’ll be with my boy.
When it is Summer
And you are not there
Well I just don’t care
No I just don’t care
I’ve got a feeling
That I love you the most
As I look at you on Christmas morning
Over my tea and toast
We will light a fire
We will warm our toes
We’ve got Christmas presents
And mistletoe
We’ve got family
We’ve got fairy lights
We’ve had Santa Claus
Visit in the night
And my heart is full of joy
Knowing that I’m spending every
Christmas Day
Knowing that I’m spending every
Christmas Day
Knowing that I’m spending every
Christmas Day
Here with my boy
Deck the halls
Deck the halls
Deck the halls
With love
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30. |
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Christmas shoppers shopping on a neon city street
Another Christmas dollar for another Christmas treat
There’s satin on the pretty dolls that make the children glow
While a boy is walking ragged in the cold Kentucky snow
No, they don’t have Christmas in Kentucky
There’s no holly on a West Virginia door
For the trees don’t twinkle when you’re hungry
And the jingle bells don’t jingle when you’re poor
There’s lots of toys for children when then Christmas time is near
But the present for the miners is a stocking full of beer
In the dark hills of Kentucky there’s one gift that may be found
The coal dust of forgotten days that’s lying on the ground
No, they don’t have Christmas in Kentucky
There’s no holly on a West Virginia door
For the trees don’t twinkle when you’re hungry
And the jingle bells don’t jingle when you’re poor
Let’s drink a toast to Congress and a toast to Santa Claus
And a toast to all the speeches that bring the loud applause
There’s not enough to give, no, there’s not enough to share
So let’s drown the sounds of sorrow with a hearty Christmas cheer
No, they don’t have Christmas in Kentucky
There’s no holly on a West Virginia door
For the trees don’t twinkle when you’re hungry
And the jingle bells don’t jingle when you’re poor
Have a merry, merry Christmas and a happy new year’s day
For now’s a time of plenty, and plenty’s here to stay
But if you knew what Christmas was, I think that you would find
That Christ is spending Christmas in the cold Kentucky mine.
No, they don’t have Christmas in Kentucky
There’s no holly on a West Virginia door
For the trees don’t twinkle when you’re hungry
And the jingle bells don’t jingle when you’re poor
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31. |
Emily Scott - Holy
03:05
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Like some drifting silver wending
As a never-ending river
A balloon with a holy ghost in
The moon turns the ocean slowly
Oh the moon
Holier than holy
It’s a shining phosphorescence
That her climbing presents fosters
Like a tragic drowner waving
With the magic fading round her
Oh the moon
Holier than holy
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32. |
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33. |
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34. |
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35. |
Woodpigeon - Xoxmas
02:20
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36. |
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It all began a number of years ago. I was at home. There was a gentle snow falling down on the house. Jingle Bells was playing on repeat. And everybody was happy. Or so it seemed on the surface.
That night when I went to sleep full of anticipation of what the next day would bring, I could never have expected what was to happen. When I woke, and tip-toed down stairs, I opened the door of the sitting room and there - under the tree - was absolutely no presents for me. I was completely bereft of any gifts.
I was devastated - it struck me right to the heart, as we all know Christmas is all about what you receive as an individual. And for me, I had received nothing and that meant Christmas was meaningless in its entirety to me.
Panicking, I went outside - maybe Santa had left the presents outside of the house? But could find nothing. I went further into the local woodland, I went further and further in with my festive pyjamas getting colder, and sadder as I went in search of just presents - all I wanted was presents, that’s all I needed. But then, but then, but then.
I only bloody realised it was 24th of December, didn’t I? I’d done it a day too early. I had been the silliest sausage. And when I returned home and woke the rest of my family up and they heard what I’d done, they turned me into a literal pig in a blanket. They just wrapped me up like a little sausage and said “don’t you leave the bed” and “you don’t know the true meaning of Christmas”.
And we all lived mostly happily after. But the next day they didn’t actually give me any presents as I’d been quite ungrateful. So the moral of the story is - keep your disappointment to yourself and just buy your own presents.
Merry Christmas, Ho Ho Ho.
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37. |
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John McClane
I know that you are jetlagged
And you’ve taken your shoes off
That isn’t ideal
But John McClane
I have been infiltrated
By some bad Europeans
With evil intent
I know you’re scared right now
But you can hide in my lift shaft
And they won’t hear a sound
John McClane
You know that we can save Christmas
And make all the bad guys
Explode like the sun
John McClane
Just climb up my tower
Kill the bad Europeans
and save everyone
You’re scared but that’s all right
Cos when you shoot all these bad guys
You’ll impress your ex-wife
John McClane
You were emotionally distant
Whenever you were with your ex-wife
So why is it okay to tell your life story
Over police radio
To a cop you’ve not met
You’re scared but that’s all right
Cos when you shoot all these bad guys
Your ex-wife will see you in a new light
Yourl ex-wife will see you in a new light
Your ex-wife could love you again so
Yippee-kay-yeay
Lets save Christmas day.
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